Im Going To Start Blogging About My Encounters On The TTC

The TTC is our transit system here in Toronto. Jesus CHRIST! I meet at least 2 weirdos every single day but the past 2 days have just been too much for me to handle. I try my hardest not to laugh but end up usually failing. Yesterday after my buddy got off I decided to take a quick 10 minute nap until I reached my stop (the last one on the line) and as soon as I drifted off, I feel somebody tapping me on my leg. I open my eyes and look over only to see this woman, who in my opinion MUST have been homeless and most likely on drugs, asks me with a completely straight face if I've ever videotaped myself masturbating profusely. I didn't respond or even give a reaction, I just simply turned back over and closed my eyes. After a few moments, it registered and I let out a little smirk but decided not to let her know that I was awake otherwise Id be asking for more trouble but I have to ask myself....who ASKS those types of questions?

Today I had 2 different things happen in front of me. The first wasn't funny at all and as a matter of fact, it was kind of scary. Some man walked into the subway and started threatening to kill people but he was calling them by random names and so naturally, everybody thought he was some mentally ill person and ignored him as he started ranting about his daughter and tapping peoples newspapers to tell them that it was him on the cover (btw the first page was covering the Olympics). After about 2 minutes of doing this he turns over to my partner and, in the most normal voice and politeness, asks what the time was. After he got his response he then thanked him and then went RIGHT back into his ranting. Of course, my friend and I are now hysterically laughing.

Then on my way home I got onto whats called the RT (rapid transit, an outdoor transit system with only 5 stops) and just before it left the station I got onto, this girl got on. Now, I was actually looking at her as she was walking up to the cart because to be honest with you, she wasn't too bad looking but the moment she got on she started doing the weirdest things. First, she started making this really high pitch sound as her shivered from the cold. I smiled at her because I thought it was kind of funny but boy was I stupid for doing that. She immediately tells me how she has to pee and how she might just go right there. Mind you, the cart is FILLED with people to the brim and everybody is paying attention to what this girl is saying. I then laugh as I continue texting my friend (sup bingles, you hottie you) when suddenly she starts sharing her jail stories and how she's stabbed people in the wrist with a fork and then dragged it till chunks of skin came off. I didn't know whether she expected me to give her "props" or if she was trying to scare me. I just kept letting out a fake laugh and wondering how somebody who looks so normal, and lets be frank, kind of cute, be so incredibly strange. She then took a shot at people who lived in Scarborough and immediately lost my attenion. Bitch.